Letter to My Son

by Derek Bembry

If you are like most inhabitants around the world it’s pretty hard to ignore this year’s presidential election in America. As the George Bush debacle comes to an agonizing close most of us are hoping that positive change follows with a hopeful eye toward the historical race being run by Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama. Will America once looked upon as a beacon of enlightenment and hopes for so many around the world elect a Black man or a woman to lead the nation?

I can’t help but wonder if today’s youth understand the magnitude if such a thing were to occur. I was born 50 years ago in the rural southern state of Georgia. Our streets were dirt roads with no sidewalks and our schools and churches were segregated. I attended black only Bailey Street elementary school and can clearly remember my teacher Miss Griffin openly weeping when the news of President Kennedy assassination reached our classroom. I watched Dr. Martin Luther Kings; I have a Dream speech on my grandmothers TV set and in the next couple years would also watch the unfolding tragedies of Dr. Kings and Bobby Kennedy’s assassination unfold. In short I watched through the wide eyes of a young boy some of the most dramatic events in America’s history but I remained largely unscathed by race.

Today I live in Germany far from the gripping political drama in America but I’m still touched by its events every day. A few days ago my 19 year old son sent me a frantic email from his college dorm wanting to talk. He had just witnessed a 50 year old Black man assaulted and racial epithets hurled at him from two fleeing white youths. He was upset and mortified and wanted to know how he should handle his anger?

I replied with the following:

Jack, I always go for a walk when I'm upset. A long walk
will give you time to yourself and allow your thoughts
to come out naturally rather than fester inside
yourself or boil over. Try the walk and you will be
surprised how much better you will feel after having a
talk with yourself. It is here that you learn to
listen to your thoughts and to trust them. 
 
You have a natural gift to believe in people and to
want to help anyone in need of help. Hang on to that.
But at the same time don't lose sight of yourself and
your inner strength. Nigger is only a word and it
gains more and more strength if people see you lose
yourself when they use it to hurt you.
 
You don't remember but when your sister was in the third or
fourth grade a kid on the school bus called her a
nigger and she looked at him as if to say "and that’s
all you got"? She didn't know what the word meant
because your mom and I never believed its use could
hurt you. A classmate however heard the kid and told
the principal who made a very big deal of it but Alex
went on about her business unfazed. It’s what you need
to do when that word is used because you're stronger
and prouder than any word.
 
Take some time to read the history of Jackie Robinson
who was the first black baseball player in America.
You will find out what it was like to have your own
teammates not want to play ball with you because of
your race, or not be allowed to eat in the same
restaurants because of his race, and to have opposing
players spit on him or fly into second base with the
spikes sharpened and then have your teammates applaud
when you are hurt. But the reason he is so revered
today is because he had an inner strength and a
mission that it took someone like him to break the
color barrier and he would not be deterred. He would
not give in to the dark side and lash out at those who
would do him harm because to do so would be to lose something
much greater than his pride.
 
Don’t lose, and don't lose sight of you are. You are
Jack Shoaff-Bembry and you have the capacity and
potential to be a remarkable young man.
 
I love you
Dad
 
My son Jack was born to myself a black man and my ex-wife Jeanne a lovely white woman. We raised him and his sister to believe that race was irrelevant and what mattered more were their hearts and the capacity to love all human beings. The assault on a total stranger tested his resolve and sheds a harsh light on why race still matters in America.
 
We all watch to see if the nation has changed since the turbulent 60s and the sacrifices of Jackie Robinson, Dr Martin Luther King Jr., John F Kennedy, Robert F. Kennedy and thousands of others from the streets of Selma Alabama to the tidal pool of nations capitol mattered.