The Perfect Wife

By

Mary Ellen Heidgen

I know that I shall never be

The perfect wife I’d like to be.

A wife who’s one and only thought

Is doing everything she ought;

A wife who gazes at her man

While warming up the frying pan;

A wife who loves to stitch and sew

And yearns to pummel yeasty dough;

A wife who scrubs and cleans and cleans

And still makes homemade pork and beans.

Instead I watch all sorts of games

And know the players and their names.

I super-glued to the remote

And run the VCR by rote.

I hang out with a lively bunch.

We exercise and then we lunch.

I do the manly hauling trash

And order food for every bash.

I’ve worked through years of tiresome strife

But just can’t be a perfect wife.

Now comes the very strangest part.

I shout it out with all my heart.

I’m sure you won’t believe your ears

But I’ve stayed married 40 years!