Be Kind to Yourself

By Amy Sherman, LMHC

You’ve heard the expression, “You are your own worst enemy.” Well, this statement is unfortunately very true. You are probably more accepting and forgiving of others than you are of yourself. That’s because you sabotage yourself with distorted, unreasonable thoughts and actions, undermining your true success and happiness.

How are you contributing to your own downfall? Here are some suggestions to reduce the chances of messing up your life:

1. Think before you act. Do not react to what happens to you, but rather respond. After you’ve thought through the situation, then decide the best possible way to handle it. When you respond to something, you are not letting your emotional history blur your prospects for making a healthy decision.

2. Be someone people trust. Never repeat something told in confidence and never intentionally hurt someone. The easiest way to sabotage yourself is by being deceitful and disloyal to people who once trusted you.

3. Be on time. People don’t like to wait and usually feel disrespected when you take their time for granted. Therefore, for your sake and the sake of others, be prompt. Your reputation depends on it.

4. Don’t be revengeful. To plot or scheme how to get back at someone takes a lot of time and energy, which could be better spent focusing on acceptance and moving on. Remember, you can’t change anyone who doesn’t want to be changed.

5. Avoid making excuses. Do you say, “I can’t exercise because I work too many hours and have no time” or “I’m overweight, because I have a thyroid problem?” Be realistic enough to know that these excuses are causing you the problem in the first place. Therefore, the best remedy is to be more proactive by doing something that would bring you closer to what you really want (in this case, to lose weight).

Your internal dialogue is constantly interpreting the events of your life and either setting you up for failure or success. Be aware of when your thoughts become so distorted that it’s keeping you from making wise or productive decisions. Stop blaming outside forces for things that are happening and start accepting your part in creating it. The only way to stop being your own worst enemy is by taking an inventory of what you’re doing and what you’re not doing. Then make an immediate change to bring yourself closer to the happiness you truly deserve.

Amy Sherman, LMHC, is a licensed mental health counselor in private practice. She is the author of “Distress-Free Aging: A Boomer’s Guide to Creating a Fulfilled and Purposeful Life” and Joy of Optimism 10 Lesson eCourse. Go to http://www.bummedoutboomer.com to get more information and to sign up for her free eZine. Amy can be reached at amy@bummedoutboomer.com