FUN STUFF

Dear Alfonso:

I put some of your suggestions from my earlier letter into practice.  You suggested I get my kids to provide me with free booze.  That was good.  My game did not improve but I didn't give a damn.  You also suggested that I have my kids buy me some new balls and pay my greens fees , which I did.  I thank you for that. But now I have one more problem.  The shaft on my number one wood is bent and when I drive the ball it always veers to the left into the rough...a first class hooker. My friends say that I am.......never mind.  The question is, should I have my shaft straightened.... or just replace it with a new one?

Dear Anonymous,

I am so glad that you took some of my advice to heart and glad that it is, for the most part, working out for you! Now, on to your latest dilemma:

How long have you had this bent shaft? Did it come like that from the manufacturer, right out of the box? If so, the warranty is long expired! I am a bit of a fatalist and feel that we should make do with the equipment we own, so I would suggest you not replace it. I also highly recommend that you not take it upon yourself to put it into a vice to straighten it manually. It may just break, and replacing a vintage wood like yours will be extremely difficult. My number one wood has a slight upward bend that, especially in low light conditions, such as those experienced early in the season, or on the back nine all year-round, can make that drive appear at times to be headed for the wrong green! But I’ve learned to adjust for this, and as a result my score has not suffered. I suggest you do the same with your less than perfect club. And don’t let any of your golfing buddies tell you their number one wood is perfect! We live in an imperfect world, and anyone who makes this claim is either lying or delusional.

If adjusting still doesn’t do the trick, here’s a tip that you might think about, although some purists will tell you it takes all the fun out of the sport:

“Schmooze” your groundskeeper. Offer drinks, bring a box of doughnuts, or better yet some chocolate, and persuade this person to open up those fairways a little bit and trim back some of that rough, even some of the surrounding bush, that your drives tends to head towards. It’s not really cheating. Groundskeepers in ballparks around the country do little things every summer to give the home team an edge. Why not do the same in golf?

 
Sincerely,

Alfonso